I have a tendency to romanticize things.

My closer friends (good-naturedly) roll their eyes and call it “Lauren.” My politically-minded friends think I’m ignorant and generally want to slap me. Some people think I’m a silly little girl trapped in a short lady’s body…and I’m pretty okay with all of these opinions of me.

One of the objects of my blind romanticizing, however, greeted me with a blunt “Oh, heeeeeey there! Do you still like me now?” yesterday as I walked to the car.

Winter. Winter was kind of an a-hole yesterday.

I’m not even going to take the time to set a scene or anything; Charlie and I took a spill on the ice. I managed to sub-consciously turn my body so I didn’t crush him, and that meant that my hip and elbow were able to get intimate with the pavement.

Paul scooped up the screaming toddler and I sat there feeling fairly stunned. (This doesn’t mean that Paul left me hanging… it just means that screaming toddlers move to the priority forefront if the mom’s not covered in blood.)

Anyway, Charlie was super-mad but perfectly fine, I was okay but a little shaken up, and we continued on to go grocery shopping. Today, however, I feel a little bit like I walked up to a brick wall and repeatedly threw the left side of my body at it…just for kicks.

So, am I mad at Winter? Do I blame this whimsical, frosty season? No!

I blame fashion.

I borrowed a pair of “snow boots” from a friend a few years ago, and I forgot to give them back to her when she moved away. I say “snow boots” because I tried them out yesterday, and the snow definitely soaked through the boots. Also, these “snow boots” have no traction. Zero. They’re the tall snow boots that look cute when you tuck your jeans into them, but you generally get all stupid and girly when you see other girls wearing their snow boots over their jeans, because they look all snobby and into themselves, so you feel guilty wearing them, but you can’t help it because they’re cute, and—

Whoah. See what fashion does to me? It makes me bitter and incoherent.

Anyway, they’re cute…so I’ve never really put forth any effort to actually buy myself a decent pair of snow boots. These are the boots I was wearing yesterday. I blame their lack of practicality and the false sense of confidence they instilled in me.

Winter, that wise old Season, probably took one look at my stupid boots and closed its eyes, waiting for the inevitable sound of my hip kissing the cement.

So, everybody, let’s remember that Winter’s not to blame; Winter’s just doing its usual thing. Also, let’s remember that fashion kills, and we should all just bundle up in really practical winter clothing so that I don’t have to feel jealous of the people who look cute and are still managing to walk upright.

Also, I’d like to point out a milestone for myself; I’ve almost been blogging for a year. One of my first posts last year was about Winter, and here we are…almost full circle. Thanks for hanging out with me for all these months, guys. You’re the coolest. I’d bake something delicious for all of you, if I could.