I have literally written 3 different versions of this blog post and none of them have felt right.
The first one was pretty funny, but entirely too negative and snarky.
The second one, in an attempt to make up for the previous negativity, was way too shiny and glossy. It just wasn’t real. The third one was okay. It wasn’t bad, but it still didn’t feel right. I’m hoping this one will make the mark.
The Bonks are pregnant.
Since almost every one of my readers gets here through Facebook, this is old news . . . but I simply have to write an announcement post, don’t I? I think I do.
So why’s it been so hard? Aren’t we excited? Why would the very first post I write about it be the most negative? What is wrong with me?
It’s just been a long summer. Really, that’s my best explanation. That, and hormones . . . and that’s nothing to sneeze at. Those of you who know me well know that I will cry at something as silly as the opening credits of a Harry Potter movie ( . . . come on though, the theme song and the clouds and the anticipation . . . it’s emotional.) and that’s completely sober and un-pregnant. Now, imagine that same person DRUNK on pregnancy hormones. You can imagine that it would be very teary-eyed and super-snappy and sometimes just plain terrifying.
Now, add the whole “no home, living with parents, lots of driving, blehhhhh” situation, and you’ll just get a giant ball of mess.
It can be kind of hard to let yourself get really excited about something really big when everything else is just not working out.
Today is different, though. This last weekend I had to go to Urgent Care because of an unpleasant pregnancy-related symptom and got something that made the whole trip totally worth it. The spectacular woman who was my nurse/doctor for the entirety of my childhood and high school career was working, and gladly did a quick Doppler check to hear a heartbeat. Since I had to push my 18 week appointment back to the same day as another appointment (because of the whole having to drive 900 hours for a 20 minute checkup), I’ve been quietly getting worried. That month in between heartbeats can start to get nerve-wracking, and adding another 2 weeks onto it really didn’t make me happy.
But none of that matters anymore, because I got to hear that our baby is chillin’ like a villain. What that also means is that all of the other stuff that is worrying me just isn’t all that bad. Because we’ve got a healthy little heirloom tomato (that’s how big he/she’s supposed to be right now) growing and moving and generally being awesome.
That’s definitely something to jump around about.
(And then sit down because jumping is hard right now.)