Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. “It makes driving crappy.” And then, “It makes me have to scrape my windows.” Oh, and also, “It makes my gas bill go through the roof.” And finally, “I can’t wear flip-flops anymore!”

I don’t really have anything to say that would make traveling in snow remotely enjoyable, but I do think it’s time we gave poor, old Winter a break. Remember when we were kids? And, oh man, when we looked out the window and saw big, fluffy flakes falling out of the sky, how excited we would get? I do. I especially remember staring up into a big gray sky that still managed to hurt my eyes a little bit, my tongue stuck way out, trying to catch snowflakes. And then I’d get dizzy from staring up for so long and I’d fall down on my butt in the big snow pile by my feet. Those were the days…Those were the magic days.

I’m a firm believer in a sacred, age-old Philosophy called Davism. Dave is my dad, and I’ve witnessed many great gems of wisdom spew from his mouth in my lifetime. Granted, he has recycled some of his philosophies from his dad, Chuck. This is an even older line of thought, Chuckism, and will take much further study before it is properly understood. One of my favorite mantras of Davism is, “You’ll just have to get happy in the same pants you got mad in.” I think that is what wise, old Winter is saying to all of us. I believe we owe it to this abandoned and betrayed Season to take a good look at our Winter pants and decide how we can be happy in them once again.

First of all, beverages. Hot beverages. Next time you’re pissed at Winter, make yourself a big mug of hot cocoa (I’ll post my Grandma’s recipe for homemade cocoa at the end of this—it’s pee-your-pants good.) and wrap both hands around it and smell it like you’re on a Folger’s commercial. How can you not appreciate the Winter magic of this? (Note: Maybe wait a minute or two before wrapping both hands around said mug of cocoa…I don’t want any lawsuits over this…)

Secondly, slippers. All winter clothes, actually. If you hate Winter, but don’t have a pair of slippers, that may in fact just be your problem. Before you say anything too slanderous about the Season, go out and buy a pair of slippers. Fuzzy, simple, squishy, firm…There are so many options. Personally, I prefer my old, gray and blue flat-footed slip-ons that my mom bought me in sixth grade (And, no, my feet haven’t grown since I was 12. So what.). Last, but most definitely not least, (for all you baby-lovers out there) footie pajamas. What. Is cuter. Than a baby. In footie pajamas? Nothing.

Thirdly, books. Or movies, or entire seasons of TV shows, or music. Another gift that our dear Wintry friend bestows upon us is that heightened sense of Awesome that surrounds our favorite media when it’s cold outside. Give me one of my seventeen copies of Wuthering Heights (I may have a problem), a big fuzzy blanket, and turn on some John Mayer (pre-dumbass John, of course) and you will find a content-as-a-kitten me wrapped up in some perfect Winter magic…And then I’ll get up and shut the music off because I can’t ever concentrate on a book when there’s music playing…But then I’ll get back under my blanket and be content once again.

Now, if you don’t like hot beverages, winter clothes, or any kind of indoor-entertainment, then I don’t know what to tell you. I guess it looks like you’ve peed in your winter pants and the only way to get happy is to either take them off (trust me, though, it’s cold out there) or find a blow dryer and pretend it didn’t happen. Either way, we won’t tell…(Because we’re Winter People and we are tolerant, forgiving, and attractive.)

Grandma Anderberg’s Hot Cocoa:

½ Cup sugar
2 Tbsp. Baking Cocoa
½ cup water
Pinch salt (to taste)
2 ½ cups milk

Cook sugar, Cocoa, and water on stove till smooth. Add milk (you can do more or less milk, depending on your preferences) and salt. Let the glorious mixture cook till it is the temperature you like, pour it into your favorite mug (I pick mugs according to my mood), wiggle your toes in your slippers and get nostalgic about something. You could always throw some peppermint schnapps in there if you get too nostalgic, but that, of course, is optional. I personally prefer this particular cocoa to be innocent and untainted.