I think it’s pretty obvious that things are getting rather domestic around the blog lately.
One of my friends told me (and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I totally agree) that my posts had gotten pretty apologetic for awhile there, so I’m not going to apologize for the change. . . but I am going to explain a little bit.
When I first started blogging, the label “Mommy Blogger” left a pretty gross taste in my mouth. I would always think of reading something a little like this:
“Hello friends. Today, little Thelonius pooped. After about two hours, he pooped again. Now, I know you won’t believe this, but that little ragamuffin waited another two hours and will you believe it? He pooped. Also, allow me to demonstrate to you how, with a little elbow grease, you can turn your apron into a toaster.”
Ugh. . . I hate reading stuff like that. I mean, sure, I relied on some blogs to learn about cloth diapering, and I love reading about handy tips and tricks to make my life easier, but I need some variety. . . and I don’t like to read the words of women who seem to have forgotten who they were before they became moms. My main goal when I started blogging was one of self-preservation, and focusing only on the mommy stuff would be pretty counter-productive in relation to that goal.
That anti-mommy-blog-mentality was turning out to be a huge mental block for me. You can only pretend to be something you’re not for so long before it starts backfiring on you. I’m not sure exactly what I was pretending to be, but it definitely wasn’t myself.
I am a mom. I am a wife. I am still a Victorian Literature lover, but on the few reading-breaks that I get, my brain is looking for something a little easier to process. I still like Theatre. . . but I have no idea what to do with it right now, and I definitely don’t have time to do it.
What I’m doing right now is raising Charlie and being married to Paul. I’m trying to figure out how to make Charlie’s and my time as meaningful and enjoyable as possible. I’m trying to figure out how to manage our home so that Paul’s and my (very precious and rare) time together is as meaningful as possible.
So rather than trying to philosophize about crap I have nothing to do with, I’m going to turn my focus a little more inward. My writing is more enjoyable when I write about what I’m actually experiencing, rather than stuff I’d like to think I’m experiencing…if that makes sense.
I know I’m not the only person in the world struggling with the balance of domestic life and the preservation of their previous goals and self-image. Hopefully, by getting it all thought out and organized here, I’ll be able to make room for the other stuff I’d like to accomplish. . . and I hope that I’ll provide a little help to anyone else who feels the same way.
So, that being said, look out for more toddler activities, calorie (and mouth)-friendly recipes, non-boring (hopefully) stories about our days, and personal musings. A little different, and, hopefully, a little better.