Neverending Self Improvement

After about a week long sabbatical, it’s time again for talkin’ about money.

A quick update: The Bonk household is soon changing locations! On Friday, we will be hauling all of our belongings to an apartment that is slightly smaller but $50 a month cheaper than the one we are living in now. What I’m really excited about, though, is how well we have (so far) financially handled this moving situation. The last few times we’ve moved, we just designated an obscure amount of money to moving and hoped it would work out. This time, we looked ahead, realistically decided that we’d probably end up dining out when we’re moving, and started saving up a specific amount of money for our transition. Now, here we are, the week of the move, and we have a healthy amount saved up. This may seem like small potatoes to some people, but for us, it means confidently spending money we know we have, and that’s a pretty big deal for the Bonks. Progress, friends, progress!

Isn’t it funny how a lot of us have a “cross-your-finers-and-pray” attitude towards spending our money? I don’t think I’m the only person out there who has written a check, crossed my fingers, and prayed that it didn’t clear before I ran home, got online, and moved some money around to make it work. I will be the first to admit that Paul and I were completely ignorant (…maybe lazy? Both?) in how we took care of and spent our money. We needed a way to uncross our fingers. Badly.

We found our solution in the “Envelope System.” The envelope system is nothing fancy. It literally involves two things: envelopes and cash. Well, I guess we used a Sharpie, so, three things. You can actually buy a fancy-schmancy envelope system from Dave Ramsey, but we stuck with plain old envelopes. The idea behind the envelope system is simple and logical; you never spend money you don’t have. You :

1. Decide how much money you want to spend on a category.
2. Take that amount out of your paycheck in cash.
3. Place said cash in appropriate envelope.
4. Spend cash as needed.
5. Know that when the envelope is empty, you’re done buying things in that category.

For example, we put $150 in our food envelope every two weeks. If it’s Wednesday of that second week and the food envelope is empty, we have to (Heaven forbid!) Dig through our cupboards and actually use that box of Zatarain’s dirty rice that’s been staring at us since we bought it.

Guess what? That dirty rice was pretty good and we didn’t throw off our checking account balance; all because we buckled down a little.

Using envelopes doesn’t mean you have to suffer. It means you have to plan things out. When you plan things out, you don’t overspend.

When we’re working the envelopes into our budget, we simply add them as categories to our spreadsheet. Things such as Gas, Laundry Quarters, Groceries, and Allowance usually end up in the ‘Envelopes’ category. Here’s a better example than the last one:

Whoah. That’s huge. Oh, well.

As you can see, our mystery-example-person has not changed her priorities, but she has gotten more organized. When she deposits her check at the bank, she deposits $200.00 into her checking account for rent, and takes out $100 (four $20’s and two $10’s) in cash.

Though this cash is going toward terrible habits, she will not be getting overdraft fees because of them.

This system seems simple…and it is. It has helped keep our frivolous spending under control, as well as act as a reminder of how much money we actually have.

Hopefully these explanations are making sense… If something is confusing, please comment and let me know! (Please comment anyway; I looove comments!)

I don’t have any reference to Brownies in here…I just like dessert.

When it comes to getting your finances on track, “willpower” is a word that usually pops up somewhere…at least when I’mthinking about it, it does. Yep, willpower is definitely important, and we can’t dismiss it, but I’m going to be honest, sometimes my willpower totally sucks.
Sure, you can stand up and announce to the universe that “Goll Dangit, I’m going to stop spending so much money and make better financial choices.” Now, if you can actually pull that off and make it work, then you deserve a reward…and all I’ve really got to offer you at the moment is some Brita water and a banana…it’s grocery day.
The fact is that sometimes willpower needs some help…a little “structure margarita,” if you will, to help make it through…
Hmm…that sounds like I’m condoning alcohol to power through tough situations…let’s change it to “structure cappuccino.” (I realize that’s still a chemical dependency…but at least you can order a cappuccino at 8 in the morning without anyone giving you the stink-eye.)
Anyway, sometimes you’ve got to have a little help. In our case, we got help from a book. This book simply took a whole lot of common sense, blended it up with some real-life stories and tangible motivation, and made a rockin’ money-management smoothie.

Okay, so I must be thirsty or something.

First of all, for legal reasons, I want to make sure everyone knows I’m not giving anything away from Dave Ramsey’s book that he doesn’t give away on his website. This will just be a quick, helpful rundown of some of the key strategies that worked for us.
Secondly, I don’t want to give off the impression that I think I’m an expert at this…that would be completely ridiculous. I’m terrible with numbers and money. We’ve simply found something that works well enough to get us on track, and if I can inspire just one person to do the same, I will be ecstatic.

In order for me to finish something I don’t like, I have to set up a few major rules for myself and then enlist someone to keep me on task. In this case, Paul is my on-task man and I’m his on-task lady. The main rule that we’ve learned to implement is “Budget Night.” Every time one of us gets a paycheck, we HAVE to sit down and enter it into our spreadsheet before any of it gets spent. No matter what.

Now, some people may say that they just don’t have time to sit down and work on their finances. That, my friends, is crap. If money’s not an issue for you at the moment, then it may seem that way. If you’re concerned, however, that the only way you’ll be able to make rent next month is by not eating, I’ll bet you’ll find the 20 minutes to sit down and get things figured out.

Budgeting in itself can be an art form. For us, a spreadsheet seems to be the most effective way of keeping track of our money. Spreadsheets kind of make my brain explode, so Paul has been perfecting our budget spreadsheet for these past few months. The point of it, however, is pretty simple. You start with your paycheck at the top, distribute the funds to each of your bills/expenses/saving categories, and end up with 0 at the bottom. You could do this by hand on a piece of paper if you had to; it’s simple subtraction. The purpose of this is to spend all of your money on paper before you even get your hands on it. When you know exactly how much money you have, where it’s going, and what you plan to do with it, it makes it a little bit more painful to spend. We’re starting to work on a newer, more effective sheet right now, so once we get it perfect, I’ll upload an empty(ish) one with instructions.
I realize that sounds a little convoluted. Here’s a quick, bare-bones example:

Paycheck : $300.00
Rent : 200.00
Cappuccinos : 50.00
Margaritas : 50.00
Remainder : 0

Obviously, this is the budget of someone with awesome rent and very skewed priorities, but it’s a basic example of how to get started.
I’ve got plenty more to talk about, but I can feel my brain shutting down and I need to make spaghetti and meatballs, so I leave you with this:

Any budget is better than no budget. If all you can do is keep track of the simple subtraction above in a notebook, you’ll already be way ahead of the masses.

Also, when sitting down to work on your finances, I’d suggest you skip the Margaritas and stick to the Cappuccinos.

A lot of people who have talked to me recently may have noticed that I can’t stop talking about money.

Money, money, money…

…It’s something that’s often at the forefront of most peoples’ minds. You wake up and think about the rent. You go to work and think about buying new car tires. You go to bed trying to figure out how to afford a bigger apartment…the list could go on for days (years, decades, forever…).

Ever since Paul and I jumped from the warm, pleasant comfort of our wedding day and plunged into the icy reality that is financial adulthood, I’ve been constantly thinking about money. A few months after we got married, we decided to move to Austin, TX. This turned out to be a pretty scary time for us. The job market was terrible, my hormones were raging, my ankles were expanding, and we couldn’t afford to have fried chicken (my pregnant tears demanded it) every night of the week. Needless to say, emotions were often running high. Finally, we decided to to pack up our stuff and head back to Nebraska, where you don’t have to sell anything on the black market in order to afford a 1 bedroom apartment.

Once we got back to the home state, things started to get better. Paul got a much better job and we weren’t nearly as scared as we were a few months prior. Our status quo became a lot more liveable. The thing is, however, had we simply been able to get ourselves organized, we could have actually been financially comfortable rather than “a little less scared.”

Let me just say(because I’m about to do some name-dropping) that I’m not writing this post to promote any kind of product. I’m simply promoting the practice of being proactive with money.

That being said, in January, at the advice of some of my friends, I read “The Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey. I’m not really sure what it was about the book, but it really struck me. Paul started reading it too, and pretty soon we were both agreeing that it was time for a change.

I’d really like to go into detail about how we got ourselves on track (and why I desperately want to convince my friends to do the same), but that will definitely take more than a page of blogging. Since it’s so beautiful outside here in Lincoln, and I’m sure people don’t want to be spending 45 minutes reading a blog on their computers, I’m going to turn this post into a little mini-series. I plan on talking about what we do, how we stay motivated, and how our lives have changed for the better since we started budgeting.

It’s true that my recent conversations have had a tendency to drift toward the financial side of things. The difference, though, is that I actually enjoy thinking and talking about money now, because I’ve seen the light at the end of the money-tunnel…and that light is glowing and beautiful…like a big neon sign advertising all-you-can-eat fried chicken and donuts.

And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Trust me. Stay tuned.

Since we often do a lot of imagining around here, I hope you won’t be surprised when I ask you to close your eyes and picture…
…The living room…a jungle of toys, baby clothes, underwear…and Cheerios. Cheerios like Pumas…sneaky Pumas hiding in corners and under end-tables and couches…even in diapers…waiting to launch a whole-grain sneak attack on you and crunch under your socks…
…The kitchen…a dank dungeon filled to the brim with pots and pans…Fiesta ware that is only festive when not stacked and caked with old food…banana residue leftover from the Baby Crusades (a dark and tear-filled time, when Prince Charlie refused to eat anything but cheese) coats the floor…you feel inspired to sit down on the laminate, eat a giant turkey leg, and leave it for dragons to devour…
…The bedroom…a quiet, forgotten room, collecting things like clothing, books…even the ancient music producing devices known once as “compact discs”…we’ve been receiving excavation requests from some of the most prominent Archaeologists, who are positive that they will be able to unearth something known as a “desktop PC”…

Are you stressed out yet? Because I sure am. How in the H does this stuff get away from us like this? Here I am, kneeling on a Boppy pillow, typing this blog post while the computer is hooked up to the TV playing Blue’s Clues. Why? Because it’s been almost a week since my last blog post (and I am not okay with that), and I’ve got enough work to do over nap time that I don’t think I’ll be able to get one written. I have made a pot of half-caff coffee (I try to only drink decaf) and am doing chain laundry today. I hope no one in our apartment section has clothing to wash.

And on top of all this, our complex is raising our rent, so we need to find a new apartment that is about $100 cheaper (our rent isn’t going up $100, we’re just trying to be “gazelle intense” about our budget) by the 15th of April.

But you guys didn’t come here to be stressed out, did you? Probably not. So, I’ve decided to write down a few little reminders for myself (and anyone they happen to apply to) to help keep my stress levels down.

Dear Self:
1. The mess and the stress levels are not your husband’s fault. Please don’t yell at him.
2. The mess is not your fault, either. It’s been a busy week.
3. The stress levels are partly your fault. Seriously, calm the heck down.
4. Charlie ate all of his pears, yogurt, and cereal this morning. He is not going on a hunger strike. Babies go through these things called “phases.”
5. You’re going to find a good, cheap apartment in time. Seriously, it will be fine.
6. Your blogs don’t have to be 12 pages long. It’s probably better that they’re not.

Sincerely,
A slightly less stressed out Self in a rare moment of clarity

Okay. I feel a little bit better. This is something I definitely need to work on. I can be super positive and upbeat about obstacles and hard times right up until something ridiculous happens…like not being able to find a matching sock…and then I turn into Psycho Stressie (a terrifying villain who sighs loudly, slams things around, and is generally an expert at freaking out…or acting sullen and snarky).

I’m sure I’m not the only one like this. We all just need to stop for a second. Everything will be fine. Let’s take a little moment to do some Zen breathing…or chocolate eating, or music listening, or whatever makes us chill out. Things will get done when they get done, and no one’s face is going to explode.

Hopefully.

If you’ve got more suggestions, I’ll gladly take them. Until then, I’m off to refill my prescription of Chill Pills.

P.S. I’m not actually taking pills. Unless you count chocolate chips. Then I’m guilty as charged.

It’s time to put down my wheels and idle around the runway for a few minutes of reflection…

I was recently told that one of my family members thinks I use too much “dirty language” on my blog. At first, of course, I felt my feathers ruffling a little bit. It’s myblog and I’ll cuss if I want! And people will deal with it!

Psssst! Hey, Lauren! Remember your last blog? The one about ego? Hmm?

Now, I’m not planning on conforming to every single suggestion that people throw out there, but I did force myself to stop and think about this one. So, I slept on it…and I woke up and read through my blogs again…and was a little disappointed in myself. What have Paul and I been working on since we found out there was a little person chillin’ out in my belly? Revamping our vocabularies, that’s what. We’ve gotten to be pretty good at censoring ourselves over the past year and a half (even when we stub our toes or slam our knees into the baby gate) so why do I seem to lose my filter when I type?

Is it a “public persona” thing? Do I think that people want to hear me swearing like a sailor? (Granted, I wasn’t really swearing like a sailor, but it was sure more than was necessary…) Because I’m pretty sure that the majority of the people reading either don’t want to read a bunch of swear words, or don’t care what kind of words I use, as long as my personality comes out through the text.

Plus, I’m a smart lady, right? I’ve got a bajillion dollars worth of student loan debt to prove that I went to college, don’t I? Why don’t I put them those years of college to use and figure out how to express myself without using gutter-language? (For the record, however, the ‘f’ in FFML was purely demonstrative, and I don’t feel bad about that one at all.)

Also, what kind of message am I putting out (Granted, the harshest words he utters right now are ‘gwee’ and ‘wub wub’…but still.) to Charlie? “Hey, we can’t cuss at home, but if you’re creating content to go out to the masses, it’s okay to sacrifice our personal standards in order to market yourself.” NO! That is not the message I want to get out at all.

Now, I know that my husband is probably reading this with a very kind and loving “Well, I kind of told you so…” look on his face… And, yeah, he kind of did… But this type of realization is something I have to come to myself, even if someone’s been telling me about it for awhile.

So I’ll take on another challenge. I will begin the cleansing of my blog-uage. I will start using my poor old dusty brain a little bit more effectively and start expressing myself without the use of trash-talk. This does not mean, however, that my blog’s going to turn into a Disney movie. Don’t worry about that. I was definitely more of a Nickelodeon girl when I grew up anyway…which is proving, I think, to be a good thing. Seriously, have you watched Disney shows lately? Have you? Have you!? But that, my friends, is an entirely different blog post.