I’m at a loss.

What in the H does a 19 month old toddler want to do all day? I, apparently, am not the one to ask. Does he want to color? Well, not with crayons, he doesn’t. He wants to color on anything but paper using only writing utensils like exploding pens and dry-erase markers potent enough to get you just high enough to start getting philosophical.

My closer friends know how I feel about listening to a stoner try to philosophize. A stoned toddler? Yikes. “You know what, Mom? It’s like…it’s like this string cheese really knows how I feeeeellll about dairy farms and Curious George and the state of our economy…”

But I digress.

Charlie hates books. Well, he hates it when we try to read him books. There are the very rare occasions when he’ll sit down by himself with a book, and even more rare occasions when he’ll actually sit through 2 pages of me reading a book. But, like I said, those moments are…well, rare. Rare like the days I don’t want to stuff my face with chocolate and expensive coffee.

Charlie really likes to pour things into other things. Like water. Does he want to do this in a place like his high chair or the bathroom? No. These activities, apparently, are best practiced on carpet or upholstery.

One thing he does actually like to do is go to the park. What am I possibly going to do in the winter? Sure, we could pay money and go to the Children’s Museum. We could definitely also join a gym or the Y, and pay money to go to an indoor pool. We could do any number of things that require us to pay money to get his blood pumping and his energy out.

Gahhh…this post is getting snarky and negative…and that’s not what I’m going for. What I need is help. Ideas. What do you guys do with your little people? Little people who are too young to understand why we can’t go to the park or why we can’t watch Curious George all day…but old enough to be bored out of their minds.

I’m floating aimlessly in a sea of tantrums and guilt. Please, someone throw me a rope!